


What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

by soclosebutyetsofar



Series: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week 2020 [6]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos is an amazing boyfriend, Confessions, Insecurity, Love Confessions, M/M, Owen gives advise, Owen is a good dad, Talking, solving problems by talking about them, they are in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24036967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soclosebutyetsofar/pseuds/soclosebutyetsofar
Summary: Day 6 of 9-1-1 Lone Star Week 2020, we're almost at the end, folks!TK’s feelings and insecurities threaten to overwhelm him. After a talk with his Dad, he faces them and calls the one person he can’t get out of his head.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Owen Strand & TK Strand
Series: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729090
Comments: 8
Kudos: 123
Collections: 9-1-1 Lone Star Week





	What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I came up with for Day 6 of 9-1-1 Lone Star Week 2020.
> 
> Theme was "Romance", prompt was "I feel so weak, I fell so deep"
> 
> Thanks a lot to @daybreak96 on Tumblr who’s had a lot on their plate but managed to do an amazing job proof reading this thing nevertheless. You're amazing! <3 All remaining mistakes are mine.
> 
> I think I have to insert a quick CW? If you feel easily overwhelmed by reading about internal struggles/insecurities you might want to proceed with caution!

When Owen steps into the house it’s eerily quiet. He knows for a fact that TK’s home; his son texted him about half an hour ago, stating that he had ordered take out. There’s a container of chinese food on the counter in the kitchen, just as TK said it would be, but his son isn’t there. So Owen heads up the stairs and down the hallway where his room is. He knocks on the door. When there’s no answer, Owen pushes down the door handle and opens the door. TK is on his bed, his head hanging over the end where his feet usually are. His eyes are closed and he’s got headphones on, which is probably why he didn’t hear Owen come through the front door, yelling his name or even knocking at his door. His brows are knitted, he seems deep in thought. 

“TK!” Owen says again and steps closer to the bed and gently touches his shoulder. TK startles at the sudden intrusion and makes a noise of surprise. He sits up and takes off his headphones. Even from where he’s standing a couple of feet away, Owen can hear the music blasting from the headphones. If he had to guess, he’d stay it’s a Harry Styles song. TK is weirdly obsessed with that man and his music.

“Sorry, Dad, didn’t hear you come in.” TK says and fumbles with his phone. A second later the music has stopped.

“Yeah, I realised that. Are you alright, son?” Owen takes in the rumpled clothes, disheveled hair and blood shot eyes.

“Sure. Long day with the shift and therapy.” TK answers but it’s obvious he doesn’t really mean it and that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Owen sighs. TK has started working again about two weeks ago after having to take medical leave for four weeks because of the gunshot wound. They haven’t really had a chance to talk ever since and Owen needs to know how he’s dealing with working again-if he is overdoing it.

Their good relationship means everything to Owen. It took them hard work to get there and he doesn’t want the efforts to be in vain. After TK had joined the academy, they slowly started to improve their relationship that had deteriorated after 9/11 and Owen being at the firehouse almost 24/7. He had missed a lot of TK’s childhood and youth. TK’s coming out and his addiction problems were the first steps of getting back a proper father/son relationship. They worked hard on it and after TK joined Owen’s firehouse for his probationary year, they were really close. Looking back, he sometimes wished he could turn back time and do things differently. Especially after Owen reacted so poorly when TK confessed, during his visit to the firehouse in the aftermath of being shot by that little boy, what a toll 9/11 had taken on _him personally_. Owen’s been trying to make amends for his wrongdoings ever since. And that includes not buying the bullshit your 26-year-old son feeds you to get you off his back.

“You wanna try that again?”

“Huh?”

“The `Are you alright´- question was actually rhetorical. I can see that you aren’t. Care to tell me what’s up?” he asks and sits down on the foot of the bed with TK kneeling next to him. TK looks at him, clearly conflicted. 

“Look, son, …” he doesn’t get any further though.

“I’ve screwed up, Dad” 

“What? Why? What happened?” Owen tries to calm down his racing mind. He’s certain that TK didn’t relapse but there are so many possibilities of what could’ve happened. TK has always been a person that a) attracts bad luck and b) feels the guilt of the outcome of every situation that went sideways even if it wasn’t his fault. So Owen really has no idea what this is about.

“ **I feel so weak** , Dad. I’ve screwed up because **I’ve** already **fallen** **so deep** in love with him.” TK says miserably.

“This is about Officer Reyes?” he asks surprised; that particular thought didn’t occur to him.

“Yeah, Carlos” the way in which he pronounces Carlos name- very softly but also with a little trepidation- leads Owen to believe that there’s a reason why TK isn’t celebrating or broadcasting his love. 

“And what about falling in love makes you think that you’ve screwed up? Why does it make you feel weak?” he enquires gently. Sometimes TK’s like a wounded animal, running from those trying to help him because he fears further rejection and hurt. Today’s one of these times. 

“Because love makes me weak and I can’t afford to be weak again. I can’t afford to relapse again when things go south between us. Especially not when you need me to be there for you” his son sounds devastated. His heart hurts for him.

“I’ve said it before and I will say it again: You aren’t weak. Never have been. Certainly not for getting addicted in the first place and also not for OD’ing back in NYC. You’re definitely not weak for falling in love with Carlos, TK. On the contrary, you’re strong and courageous for giving love another chance after Alex. I really admire that about you. And why on earth would you think about things ending between him and you before they’ve really started? Things are good between the two of you, aren’t they?” 

“What? Yes, they’re great actually. I just… I don’t know Dad. Therapy has made me think about some things I thought I was finished dealing with for good.”

“Sometimes, it takes a little longer than we expect, sometimes we don’t heal at all, but rather learn how to live with it better. Healing’s a process and you will encounter bumps and other obstacles along the way. The important thing is that you keep moving. Take that advice from someone who’s done a lot of healing and has been working through trauma for the past two decades.”

“Now you just sound like Oz” TK chuckles.

“Well, your therapist’s a smart person and I did go to therapy once upon a time, son. What I’ve just told you: it stuck with me. It might take a little more time for you, but eventually, you’ll see the results, too. Of that I’m sure” TK sighs.

“I know, but it’s one thing knowing it and an entirely different thing experiencing it. I’m not there yet. Maybe I’m just not good enough for Carlos.”

“Hey, where’s that suddenly coming from? That’s nonsense TK!” Instead of answering TK only raises his shoulders in a helpless gesture.

“Alright, tell you what. You’re gonna call your man right now and ask him to come over. And then you’ll talk to him about not feeling like you’re enough for him and he’ll tell you how wrong you are. I think it might take _him_ saying it for you to actually believe it.” TK still doesn’t look convinced but Owen knows he’s got him. It hurts him to see TK doubt himself so much, but he’s never been so sure of the guy his son was dating previously, then he was about the man his son was currently seeing . Carlos Reyes was a good man and he would help TK regain some of his confidence.

Owen takes the phone from the bed and hands it to TK. “Call him. Now. He’ll understand or at least he’ll try to. I’m sure about that” Owen encourages his son.

“Maybe you’re right. He didn’t turn his back on me and run the other way when I told him that I was a recovering addict.” Owen is stunned. Sure, TK told the 126 but it’s an entirely different thing to tell the person you’re in a relationship with, what one has been through. It’s because you want them to see you at your best even though said person should also love you at your worst and accept your flaws if they want to make things work.

“You told him, TK? When was that? And also: how come?”

“A couple of months ago- before I told the crew. I won’t tell you what caused it. Not yet anyway. It’s better if we keep that for another conversation” the tone of his voice makes it clear that his son doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Fine, but just so you know, I’m proud you told him, TK, whatever made you do it in the first place. It shows me that you are healing. And if you trust him with that, you can trust him with what you’ve just told me, too.” TK smiles at him hesitantly before taking the phone from him. Owen got up from the bed. Standing in the doorway he throws one last glance at his son who’s holding the phone to his ear. He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop but he’s also a father and can’t resist the temptation

“Hi Carlos” … “Yeah, I’m ok, Baby... actually no, would you maybe come over? I could use your company right now” Carlos’ reply is a little longer this time because TK’s quiet for a while. “Yeah, no worries. 20 minutes is fine, thank you. See you soon” Owen closes the door behind him. He really has a good feeling about this cop.

* * *

To say Carlos was surprised when TK called him and asked him to come over was an understatement. Especially considering how emotional he sounded. It isn’t often that TK gave him a glance behind his façade and asked for help. So of course Carlos agreed to come over when his boyfriend asked. Which is how he ended up in front of the Strand’s house. Carlos gets out of the Camaro and walks towards the door. It opens before he can knock and he’s surprised to see Captain Strand standing there.

“Evening, Captain Strand” he greets the older man. 

“It’s Owen to you, Carlos, come on in” the fire captain says and extends his hand. Carlos shakes it, he isn’t sure what to make of his boyfriend’s father greeting him at the door. It’s like he wants to have a chat with him, or rather the “if you hurt my boy, you’ll come to regret it chat”. He steps inside and Owen closes the door behind him.

“TK’s in his room, you know where it is, right?” Carlos nods. Even though they’ve been officially dating for a month and a half now, he hasn’t been around too often. They opted to stay at Carlos’ place most of the time-for obvious reasons. 

“What is this about Sir?” 

“I’ll let TK tell you that but I just wanted to make sure that you're patient with him, please.”

“Of course” Carlos is a little anxious. He’s feeling like he’ll either be the happiest man on earth after his chat with TK or he won’t have a boyfriend anymore. 

“Thank you” he pats his shoulder. “Off you go then” Carlos makes his way up the stairs, down the hall and knocks at TK’s door. 

He hears a muffled “Come in” so he enters the room, his gaze immediately falls to his boyfriend who’s perched on his bed. TK smiles at him as he gets up and hugs him, Carlos wraps his arm around his boyfriend’s waist and buries his nose in TK’s neck. The tension leaves his body momentarily when he sees that at least TK’s physically alrighthe hug helps, too.

“Hey” he says softly.

“Hey yourself” Carlos answers. TK unwraps himself but quickly grabs Carlos face in his hands and presses a kiss to his lips. Carlos grabs TK’s hips in return and pulls his boyfriend closer. 

“Hmm” Carlos hums into the kiss. It’s a chaste, sweet one, without tongue, but it’s great nonetheless. It’s over too soon.

“Hi” TK repeats, grinning at him, hands dropping onto Carlos’ shoulder. Carlos grins. 

“What a greeting” he says and gives his boyfriend another quick kiss on the lips.

“Well, I’m happy to see my boyfriend” the fear that had accompanied Carlos ever since he got TK’s call resurfaced. 

“What’s going on?” TK sombers. Judging by his expression this talk could go either way.

“Are you alright? Has something happened on shift? You aren’t hurt, are you?”

“Stop, Carlos. It isn’t like that. I’ve been having a meltdown about something but after talking to my Dad I realised that I might be overreacting…” he trails off. Carlos remains silent, waiting for TK to continue. He wants him to tell him at his own pace.

“I… I’m in love with you and it scares me shitless” he rushes out and it isn’t what Carlos was expecting at all. He’s stunned to silence. It isn’t until TK clears his throat, lets go of his shoulder and moves to step away from him that Carlos realises, he’s waiting for an answer.

“Um, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have confronted you with it just like that, we’re basically standing in the doorframe and that’s so unromantic. You don’t have to say it back of course if you aren’t feeling the same, that’s okay, not that it won’t suck but…” he doesn’t get any further because Carlos has grabbed TK’s face in his hand and silences him by pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s. TK makes a surprised noise and tenses a little before relaxing into the kiss.

“I’m in love with you, too!” Carlos gets out between kisses.

After god knows how long he finally manages to stop kissing him. “I will still need my space and I hope you’re okay with moving slowly, because truth be told, I’m still convinced I will fuck this up if we move too fast. I always managed that in the past. I don’t want that. After breaking up with Alex and my relapse I’ve felt insecure and was careful about moving forward because I’m doubting myself so much, but then you came along.

“Carlos, you’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and I want you around. I hope that you can be patient with me and I hope that I’ll be enough for you” Carlos’ heart aches at the pain and insecurity in his voice. He hates that he feels that way but he’s so proud of him to have come forward and bared his heart. He’s lucky TK decided to give them a chance after the solar storm. 

“TK, cariño, I promise that we’ll do this at your pace if you promise to keep talking to me. I know this can’t have been easy for you and I appreciate you communicating with me, a lot. I, too, want this to work between us.” Carlos responds and pulls TK against his body. His boyfriend’s arm sneak around his middle and squeeze him tightly. Their foreheads touch and Carlos is able to look into TK’s beautiful green eyes. Whatever he has done in a former life to deserve someone like him, he still thanks all the deities there are for bringing this man into his life.

“I think I can do that.” he murmurs. Carlos smiles in relief and who would’ve thought that he was right? He really is the luckiest guy alive, because one Tyler Kennedy Strand is in love with him. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! :D
> 
> I'm on Tumblr, you can come over and talk Tarlos or 9-1-1 Lone Star to me! :D


End file.
